How to forgive yourself for past money mistakes

Mothers, we are the Chief Financial Officer of our family, let's assume our role with confidence and joy.

There are many reasons why some of us mothers delay, and neglect dealing with the management of our personal finance. One of them could be because we have made money mistakes in the past and we don’t know how to let go and move away from them.

Below is a list of the top mistakes that we mothers and /or women make:

  1. Unawareness of our financial health

  2. 100% Delegation of money management and strategy to our spouse or our father

  3. Being financially illiterate

  4. Borrowing or overborrowing money without understanding the real cost

  5. Savings instead of investing

  6. Irregular financial check up

  7. Paralysis and fear in money matter

  8. Over-caring for the physical needs of our family at the expense of their financial need

  9. Perpetuating misconceptions about money

  10. Spending without a budget, and/or having a monthly budget without a long term financial plan

Some moms made just one or two of these mistakes, but the majority of us made most of them, since they are so interrelated.

These mistakes are very costly to our own financial well-being and to the financial well-being of our family.

Deep down we know we messed up, and we may even feel guilty that we let our family down on the financial side.

After all, we, along with our husband, are the Chief Financial Officer of our family.

After all, we, along with our husband, are the Chief Financial Officer of our family.

Don’t be too harsh on yourself. There’s lots of work to do, we got to keep moving.

Here are some steps you may take to forgive yourself and to make sure that you will not repeat these mistakes again:

So sit down, and start with

  1. A sincere financial self-examination

. Determine what mistakes you made,

· list each of them

2. determine the reasons for the mistakes. Here are some reasons you may want to start with

· Was it the fear of making mistakes that made you delegate

· Was it the lack of self-confidence

· Were you just plain lazy and ignorant

· Were you paralyzed because of your misconceptions about money

3. Resolve to remedy each of the causes/reasons identify on #2.

· If it was fear, face your demons, face reality, you have already braved major obstacles in life, money is not the worst one, you can manage it

· If it was lack of self-confidence, you can start by a Financial Peace University® class, and you will learn a lot about money

· If it was laziness: I’m going to be harsh: grow up and take charge of your financial life, we mothers have no time for that, you know where you came from… you are brave and courageous, take actions, get educated, take control of your money

· If it was misconceptions about money: decide to learn the truth: read books, follow a podcast, take an online/live class, change friends, or the people you speak about money with. Who seeks, finds.

4. Sincerely, apologize to your spouse and your loved ones, as much as they can understand.

5. Move on, take actions, and never look back.

My family and I personally made stupid money mistakes for reasons # 4,5,6,9, and 10.

We always had a budget, but we never had a long term financial plan. So, there were no connections between our daily actions and our long term results.

My husband and I, or at least I, had tons of misconceptions about money. I thought it was not supposed to be my problem, if I am just a “good” Christian, things will be OK in my finances… WRONG. I was given the talent of a decent IQ, a great number sense, and a large family, what made me think that my financial life would take care of itself on its own, when I know that for my spiritual life, I have to work at it daily? For my physical life, I have to work at it daily, and the same for my emotional life…

I don’t know, but I was very imprudent. To the point where we even failed behind on our mortgage… Thank God, thank family and friends, we did not loose our house, but we came pretty close.

As of today, we made a complete U-turn. We are slowly but courageously facing our financial demons. Slaying them one at a time.

Don’t be like the old me and some of the other moms.

If you have not made mistakes, learn all you can about personal finance before taking on a loan, a lease, or any kind of financial commitment. Read the books: “Total Money Makeover” by Dave Ramsey, or “The Richest Man in Babylon” of George Clayson, or one of my favorite “Think and Grow Rich: A Black Choice” by Dennis Kimbro.

If you are like the old me, forgive yourself, make a U-turn, and start all over again, it is never too late, never.

Just take on your financial journey seriously, and know that what you sow, is what you will eventually reap.

Until next post.