Do you expect a spoon to cut meat?
Or a fork to serve soup? ...
So why do you expect mothers to be anything but who they are meant to be?
Where should we look when we are trying to understand who we, mothers, are?
Where should we get the answers to all the questions we have about our identity, our roles, our duties as mothers?
Let yourself be defined by the One who created you.
No scientific study, survey or media outlet can define motherhood better than the Creator of mothers. No wonder so many of us struggle to be Happy mothers, the way the world defines it, it was not supposed to be "that way".
Should the answers come from scientific study, newspaper surveys, history, our culture, our customs, our own personal feelings?
Better, should it come from social media, magazines, a top rated Talk Show or podcasts?
l don't believe so.
I do not believe any of these can provide the timeless and true answers we need to those very deep, profound questions we have.
How would they know?
They can provide some information, tell us about some of the trends, but they are not qualified to answer the fundamental questions about:
What is a mother? Who are mothers?
What is the role of mothers?
What are the duties of mothers?
Sorry to hurt some feelings, or to even disappoint. But when you really think about it, they can't. Period.
They are not equip for it.
They can't even define what mothers are, it's impossible for them to do so, because they did not create them.
And if you can't even define something or someone, it's impossible for you to define its roles, and duties.
So where do we get the answers to those questions? Who do we go to?
It is simple:
To our Creator. Our God who created human being, women, and mothers.
It's that simple.
Ask God to tell you, show you, answer you about your identity as mother, your roles, and duties in general, but also your roles and duties given your particular circumstances: are your children toddlers, in high school, or grown ups? Do you have a child, or children who will always need your assistance because of a disability? Are you married, a widow, or single?
These answers, and so many others will help determine your unique roles and duties as a mother.
Now comes the Magic Questions:
Is God going to answer me, the little tinny "me" in this HUGE universe? How do I actually get those answers to go from God to me, Sylvie?
Is God going to answer me, the little tinny "me" in this HUGE universe? How do I actually get those answers to go from God to me, Sylvie? Is God going to send me an angel, will someone come down the mountains with a stone engraved with a list of my particular duties?
First, I would not worry about the "ifs". We will get answers, the fact is, He will answer. Remember the saying: Ask, and you shall receive. We have His words, we can trust Him.
As for the "how", no reasons to worry either. I honestly do not know how God will answer you, or me. I have no idea, absolutely none. I know that I sometimes get my answers in prayers, sometimes while driving in the city, other times, when talking to a friend, reflecting on a comment, or listening to a podcast, yes, a podcast.
But looking at the world and history, we know that in terms of creativity, He is the Master. He will find a way, ways, to communicate what He wants us to know. It's possible that each of us will receive her answer at different moment, in differnt ways. But He will answer.
Now that we know that He will respond, and that He will find a way that we can understand, let's prepare the ground so we can receive the answers to our questions. Are we ready to receive them?
I would start by cleaning up my mind of all the false misconceptions, definitions, that I have. I would take some time to reflect, a few hours, or half a day. Seriously... I know it's weird to imagine stopping all activities to think about our motherhood, but what's the alternative, Socrates said it: An unexamined life is NOT worth living.
So, take some time. Prepare yourself to know more, and /or better about who you are. Be open with your heart, your mind, and your will.
I am inviting you. No. I should say: I am strongly suggesting that you plan to actually take some time to re-think, re-frame, re-discover your motherhood.
It may be self-serving to mention it here, but my Pre/Post Mother Day's Workshop is designed for that purpose, the Anything Motherhood website exist for that purpose: to help mothers fall back in love with their motherhood, to guide mothers to re-think, re-frame, re-define, re-discover motherhood according to God's plan. That's the ONLY way to be happy.
I am inviting you. No, I should say: I am strongly suggesting that you plan to actually do it. It does not even matter what tools you use, my workshop, someone else's, your own. What's important is that each mother take the time to examine her motherhood, and with the light of the Truth, that she realizes what are the areas where she needs to fix, redress, change in order to raise her children according to what God intended for each of them. Our happiness is at stake, our children's happiness is at stake.
This post is way longer than I expected, I am sorry. I could actually go on, and on, but I have to go. I think we have enough to think about. The rest will be shared later. You may be able to leave a comment, I am not sure it works, but you can definetely contact me to share your opinion. I plan to have conference call, sometimes in the future, I love direct interaction, and there is so much to talk about.
For now, I wish you a wonderful day, and I insist: Take some time to examine your motherhood sometime in the very near future.
Until next post.